YOUR BOUDOIR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
20 frequently asked questions and concerns about boudoir photography
BRANDYWINE PHOTOGRAPHY SHELBY, NORTH CAROLINA
BOUDOIR FAQ
First time doing a boudoir session? Well, here’s the scoop. It’s everything you need to know to better prepare you. It may seem scary coming into a boudoir session and letting all inhibitions go in front of a complete stranger. I’ve heard it all before. From clients who literally vomited in the parking lot from pure anxiety to clients who almost canceled last minute. They all tell me the same after the session- “I feel so silly because that was much easier and better than I expected.” Now, let’s avoid any parking lot puke-fests or stress-induced breakouts, shall we? I got you. And please, don’t build up some sort of image of who I am in your head just because I’m a successful photographer. I am goofy as hell. I’m going to trip over my light stands, I may snort-laugh, I’ll talk some shit with you, and I’ll get over-excited about your butt pic. Let me get rid of some of the usual barriers for you.
Below, you’ll find a cheat sheet of FAQs where I tackle the most common concerns I hear on the regular. Now, fair warning: I can’t tackle anything with a totally serious approach—I’ve sprinkled in plenty of awkwardness and humor because, well, that’s just me. Don’t be offended. I see buttholes for a living; you gotta know I’m not exactly straight-laced.
Let’s dive in and get you prepped to absolutely slay your session.
1. I CAN'T DO SEXY. AT ALL.
Then welcome to the club, sis. The “Fake it ’til you make it” club. It’s a big club and a lot of women are in it. I guide clients into their poses, right down to facial expression and fingertips. Really, sexy is all in the relaxed face. Once we get that (and it’s easy, I’ll give you pointers to look relaxed), the rest is easy because we know that body of yours can and will do sexy. Don’t come at me with that. We will work on the face and fake that sexy, the rest is a breeze. And shhhh..nobody needs to know we fake it.
2. I'M A BIG GIRL, I'M NOT CONFIDENT
Here’s the truth: just about every woman I work with has something they’re not confident about. But let me tell you, confidence isn’t about a number on a scale or squeezing into society’s warped idea of “perfection” (looking at you, social media and your filtered lies).
I get it, though—positive words alone don’t magically fix everything. Real confidence comes from a place of self-love, and that’s what the whole boudoir experience is about: seeing yourself in a new light.
You might look at my client photos and think, I could never look like that. Well, first of all, stop putting those negative thoughts in your head. You’ll believe what you feed your mind, so why not nourish it with kindness instead? Remind yourself of that little girl you used to be—would you ever talk to her the way you’re talking to yourself now? No, it’s abusive. So, show yourself that same love.
You CAN do this. You CAN look like that. The first step is to believe it. (Then the second step is to book the appointment🤣) But seriously, trust me on this.
My mom is my best friend, and so many of my clients remind me of her. They say things like, “I’m too fat,” and every time, it breaks my heart. So, stop breaking my heart, mmmk? Put a little faith in me and let me show you.
3. I'M TOO OLD TO DO THIS
What are you, curdled milk? How far past the expiration date are we talkin’ here? Okay, you got me with this one. I mean, I will be having you do some bendy stuff and popping that booty (the workout is included) and I DO feel bad (sometimes) for the things I have older clients do. Hell, I can’t be on my knees more that a couple of minutes. But I’m not going to treat you any different unless you physically can’t do certain things in which we can modify. As I tell everyone, if you have to break your pose, do it. If we are talking about looks here, Boudoir is about celebrating YOU RIGHT NOW. Not in 1985, but now. Besides, I don’t think the 80’s would have put out some fire images like you’re going to get today. And remember, you’ll be even older tomorrow. 🤣 I’m just going to refer to you as “seasoned” instead of older. The same concept as seasoning food—it takes time and care to develop full flavor. Put those insecurities to rest, we’re going to get spicy.
4. I HAVE SCARS/STRETCH MARKS, WILL YOU EDIT THEM?
Scars are evidence that you lived/loved/fought. Along with stretchmarks, they are a part of your story. Before taking my clients to the lingerie room, I talk to them about their insecurities. A lot of women I have worked with have had 360 tummy tucks, double mastectomies and many other surgeries that leave scars. If the client prefers, I do pick lingerie options to cover those scars and/or stretchmarks, fully or partially. I’m a master at lighting and I’m able to place shadows and light where I want them. This addresses cellulite as well. Cellulite is only a dimple where shadow falls into. It’s all in the lighting. Of course, there are some exceptions where we just can’t get around seeing your scars, depending on where they are. I’ll cover more of this in the next question because I don’t want to repeat myself. Keep reading. Don’t leave. I’ll cry.
5. DO YOU EDIT MY PHOTOS?
Oh, you’re still here? Good. Let’s continue. The answer is yes and no. I provide what I call “soft edits” to every single photo that I deliver to my client. Let me give you the rundown of my post-processing workflow. I take multiple photos per pose. I go through all of the images from the session and keep the best from each pose, sometimes a couple from each pose. With each image, I do the necessary cropping/straightening and I tweak minor things like contrast, warmth, saturation. Then, I photoshop out the shit I should have moved or adjusted. Like my lightstand leg that’s in the shot or the sticker on the bottom of your high heel. Every now and then, I gotta zoom in and snip out a tampon string. Ugh, just a reminder of what we women go through!
However, as far as editing YOU, I do not photoshop you. I do a “slight” skin softening on every photo. Take a look at every boudoir photo I have posted on this website. This is the exact editing your photos will have. The skin softening does help with masking light “flaws”. I do not photoshop out scars, tattoos, etc. unless requested. If you get your gallery back and you want anything edited beyond what I’ve done, it is $20/image for full photoshop. You’re going to be majorly surprised with how you DON’T NEED TO BE EDITED. Let me brag about myself again and remind you that I’m the bomb at lighting. If my eye sees your cellulite, my camera will not. Why? Because shadows. It’s magic. I’m a magician.
(Disclaimer: I’m lying just a little bit. I have photoshopped pimples off close up butt shots for no extra charge because I gotta help a girl out, you know?)
6. DO YOU PROVIDE MAKE-UP AND HAIR? CAN I DO IT MYSELF?
If you’re booking a weekday, I am doing it all. I provide the make-up with lashes and hair. If booking a weekend, I have an amazing make-up/hair artist. It is always provided for boudoir and preferred. You are more than welcome to arrive with it done yourself but there are no discounts applied, or extra shoot time given. You might as well sit in the chair and gossip with me or Courtney and let someone take control. Fun fact: I’ve never had anyone do my make-up!
7. DO YOU NOT DO PIN-UPS ANYMORE? I REALLY WANT TO BE A PIN-UP
Pinups were my first true love in the photography world. Hot women and hotrods. I used to get published regularly in a few of the old car magazines, waaay back in the day. After covid, my bookings were really slow. Boudoir picked back up but pin-ups sadly never did. We decided to take a break, and I can only dream that women would come back around to the classics. The upscale showroom/shop I shoot at is in York, SC. The owners are in their 70’s and they would always love my clients using their shop to be pin-up girls. (and honestly, they love me too because they don’t let anyone else shoot there!). If I had enough interested and wanting to book, I can make it happen anytime. Let me know if you’d like to. I’ll create a mailing list and see if we can get enough interests. Oh, to have my first true love again.
8. CAN I SPLIT A SESSION WITH A FRIEND?
No.
9. CAN A BOOK A GIRLS DAY?
Now we’re talking. $500 is my absolute lowest price for a session per person, no exceptions. I can only accommodate maximum 6 women in the studio and to book a girl’s day, it would have to be 4 minimum. If you would like to book 4 to 6 gals for a 7 hour day at the studio, I would have to hire my make-up artist, Courtney. This is something I would have to coordinate with her so if you’re interested, reach out to me through the contact page. This would include two lingerie changes each and optional photos together. Good thing nobody can peep in the windows because that’s a helluva hot time. I would allow this on an available weekend as well. If you just want to book back-to-back with a friend and have a few photos together, you can do that on any of the open days on my schedule.
10. CAN YOU COME TO MY LOCATION FOR BOUDOIR?
Absolutely, I’d love to. But I won’t be able to carry my massively stocked lingerie room and I won’t provide make-up/hair. It would be on you to provide those things. It’s nice to be just a photographer for a change. I have done many shoots at client’s houses, their husband’s shop, home gyms, farm property, airbnbs they rented, etc. The $600 session would cover an hour shoot with local travel but I’d recommend the $900 option to allow for more shoot time since I’ll be in an unfamiliar space and would need to set everything up. Reach out to me through my contact page if this is something you’d like to arrange.
11. DO YOU OFFER MALE BOUDOIR?
I do and nudity is welcome. I have no problem with the naked human body. These can be booked like any other session. Only you’d be signing up with a dude name. Obviously, I’m not going to provide make-up and hair (well, I guess I could) but I would allow that extra time for the session. When it comes to women, I’m fast as lightening. With guys, I tend to need a little more time. Believe it or not, lighting is TOTALLY different. I’m not as experienced with it but I had a great time at my last few sessions and would love to shoot more male subjects. I plan on getting all of the images of men I’ve photographed into their own blog. I need two of me.
12. HOW DO THE COUPLES SESSIONS WORK?
They work out pretty well. The end. 🤣Wait, don’t leave. If you checked out my pricing on the boudoir page, you will see which sessions allow couples. With a couple’s session, everything applies only the partner will be in and out of shots. Half the session is just the lady. I recommend shooting in the bedroom for one of the rooms. To be blunt, get naked, do sex poses. I don’t even have to tell you how, you know what to do. I’m just a voyeur! These sessions are super fun and super steamy. He’ll just be a little bored during make-up/hair time. And if your guy is hesitant about doing this, let him know that he’s just a prop. My focus is on you and I won’t look at his wiener. If you’re not wanting to get that risqué, that’s okay too. Read the next Q&A for more info.
13. WILL I GET MORE INFO ABOUT THE SHOOT?
You sure will. Once you book, you’ll instantly get information on little things to prepare you including what your partner needs to bring if booking a couple’s session. You will also get session reminders. Be sure you put in the correct email and phone number!
14. CAN I BRING A FRIEND? HOW ABOUT ALCOHOL?
Yes, you can bring moral support and even up to two. I’m not going to lie; I may put them to work. 🤣 Men are not allowed into the studio unless they’re participating in photos. I do provide white wine (red stains teeth) for my clients. If you prefer your own, you’re welcome to bring it. But please be careful not to overdo it and end up with a rashy chest, red glassy eyes and a wobble while you’re trying to pose. Moderation is key.
15. WHAT DO I NEED TO BRING?
Your fine make-up free face, your balance and a pair of panties. That’s it. In the info clients receive after booking, it mentions this. If you can, bring a pair of sexy back panties. Preferably a thong or very cheeky. If you don’t have any, it’s okay, I got you. However, bring any kind of panty to keep on while trying on the lingerie.
16. CAN I BRING MY OWN LINGERIE?
Absolutely! If you have a specific color and style of lingerie you want, bring it. The client below brought in that sexy leather harness. I’m obsessed with lingerie, and I enjoy seeing what clients bring. Though it’s not necessary, you’re more than welcome to. Check out the client lingerie room, it’s stocked. I carry sizes 0-24ish, bras up to band size 46. Cups up to size “I”. Heels size 5 to 12.
17. WILL YOU POST MY IMAGES?
Only if you allow me to. I do not post client’s images without permission. I post maybe a quarter of the clients I work with. I respect privacy. I may be sad about it but I will survive.
18. CAN I BOOK A BOUDOIR SESSION AND NOT WEAR LINGERIE AT ALL?
Most definitely. I’ve had many do this. You can bring your own dresses, professional attire, his work gear, whatever your heart desires. Gah, I wish I could post the recent firefighter boudoir I did!
19. CAN YOU FINALLY TELL ME WHY YOUR PRICES ARE SO LOW COMPARED TO OTHERS?
I’m glad I asked—I mean, you. I’m glad you asked. I went over a lot of this, but I’m going to summarize it all here so you can see how it comes together and makes sense. I’ll explain what you’re not going to get from me and where I give more.
- I provide makeup and hair services on weekdays, which cuts down on your cost. Basically, I’m offering this to you at no additional charge. It’s hard to find a photographer who can do it all—and do it well—but I’ve got you covered. By cutting out the middleman here, I’m streamlining the process for you.
On weekends, I hire Courtney, and together, we work with seven clients in one day. She’s slaying faces while I’m constantly shooting. It has to be seven clients per day to make it profitable for both of us. She owns a hair salon, so I have to be able to pay her close to what she’d make otherwise.
2. I’m not going to provide you with a fancy book because, honestly, I don’t enjoy making them. My passion lies in connecting with my clients and photographing them—not digitally assembling books and upcharging for them. I’ll leave that to those who love that part. If you really want a book made, I’ll be upfront: it will cost about the price of your session. Instead, I provide you with all of your high-resolution files and recommend quality, affordable places where you can make your own book.
3. I’m also not going to do a phone consultation with you for a boudoir shoot. If I see a booking that raises questions, I’ll reach out to you directly. Some photographers charge thousands for their services, including extras like books and phone consultations. That’s not my style.
Why? Well, I work with a lot of amazing women, and as much as I’d love to chat with every single one of you, I simply can’t. My brain would explode. Being a major empath, I pour my heart and soul into each session, and that emotional investment takes a toll. After a long day of shooting and editing, I need to recharge, find a sliver of “me time,” and avoid the endless buzz of my phone.
On top of that, I’m also a wedding photographer juggling communication with around 20 brides at a time. My calendar is packed, my inbox is constantly slammed, and my phone stays on silent because it never stops going off. If you’re looking for a boudoir photographer who’s going to pregame the experience with phone calls, you might want to consider someone else’s (much higher) rates. I keep my pricing reasonable by skipping the extra frills.
What I do provide is a lot more photos, quality photos—and you get every single one of them soft edited. That’s a lot more than most boudoir photographers offer. I do more work for less money.
I’m a horrible salesperson. My passion lies in photographing women and fostering the connection we share during the session. And don’t think for a second that you’re just another client to me once the session is over—far from it. My best friend walked into my studio as a client a decade ago. I’ve stayed friends with so many clients because I genuinely care about them.
I’m deeply connected with the clients who have supported my business for well over a decade. I’ll always offer a $500 session because I know their struggles, I’ve watched them overcome and grow, and I love seeing them come back for all kinds of sessions—every few months or every year.
Over the years, my quality of work has surpassed what I know I could be charging. Sure, I could work less and charge more, but I started doing boudoir to empower all women. I refuse to price myself so high that I become unattainable to the very women I set out to empower.
With my affordable pricing, I have clients who come back time and time again, and each session gets better than the last.
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20. WHAT SETS YOU APART FROM OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS?
Besides copy/paste from above, lighting. You’ll find that most boudoir photographers are natural light only. I do love some natural light but for my particular preference, there’s a time and place for it. I have a lot invested in lights and modifiers and I love to be able to paint with light and shadows to create a dark, moody or cinematic look with boudoir. I get told regularly that clients chose me for that reason. Wait…it wasn’t because of my amazing personality? Psshhh..
I’m not what I consider a by-the-book professional. I’m not structured; things don’t have to be a certain way. I allow organic flow in my life. I don’t look at how other boudoir photographers run their business and assume mine needs to be the same. Apart from the work aspect, I came from a pretty bad childhood. A child runaway who lived on the streets, pregnant at 16. Struggled as a poor, young single mom. A survivor in many ways. I’m able to understand my clients and oftentimes relate.I’ve always been a non-conformist rule breaker and it’s gotten me here, where I’m happy. I don’t just have an empathetic soft spot for women while at my studio. I’m a girl’s girl through and through. I make it a point to compliment women at the grocery store or offer help taking a cart back. My love and admiration for women doesn’t stop at my doorstep–it’s a core part of who I am.
